It’s tempting to stay and try to fix it. But sometimes, leaving is the only option.
During most of my early dating years, I was drawn to guys who treated me badly and learned to settle for less than I deserved from relationships.
Truth be told, my divorce was the catalyst that showed me that I was attracting partners who were at a similar level of woundedness and didn’t know how to go about attracting a healthy, loving partner.
You may be at risk for toxic relationships if you become so absorbed in your partner’s problems you don’t often have time to identify, or solve, your own. Or, you care so deeply about your partner that you’ve lost track of your own needs.
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Growing up, were you often in a caretaker role with one or both parents or your siblings? Are you a people pleaser who feels that you have to be in a good mood or positive when you are with your friends, family, or an intimate partner? If you have this tendency, you may find setting limits hard and have trouble asking for what you need from your partner. The good news is that this pattern, which often begins in childhood, can be reversed.
Before you can begin to build successful relationships, you must have healthy self-esteem which means believing in yourself. One of the key things to consider is: how do you treat yourself? No one will treat you with respect if you devalue yourself. You must rid yourself of self-defeating thoughts such as “I’m stupid” or “No one will ever love me” if you want to build relationships based on love, trust, and intimacy.
Do your romantic relationships bring out your insecurities and cause you to mistrust your own judgment? Many women become involved or even obsessed with the wrong partner someone who is emotionally unavailable, with other partners, addicted to substances or who cannot love them back.
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